Tag: Societal Issues

Featured

Spiritual Revolution

If you believe in prophecies and predictions by the likes of Nostradamus, Credo Mutwa, etc. If you believe in astrology. If you’ve ever consulted a sangoma, traditional healer/diviner, prophet, seer, psychic/medium, clairvoyant, etc. If you’ve ever listened with great veneration to radio shows featuring Shannon Walbran, Taz Singh, etc. If you’ve been glued to the television screen watching shows such as Dloz’lami, Umoya, Ubizo then you are more inclined towards spirituality.

We also have people who don’t believe in spirituality and that is okay. What’s not okay is when they make a mockery of it. I’ve seen a lot of social media posts whereby people question why there’s “suddenly an influx of ‘gifted’ people”. “Everyone is becoming a sangoma nowadays”… “Ukuthwasa (the process of initiation) is becoming trendy and fashionable”…, they utter. Then a close friend sent me a video of Phumelele Mbanda aka ‘gogo Cindi’ (a traditional healer) enlightening the viewer on that topic. “My beloveds, there’s a spiritual revolution happening. Our ancestors are taking us back to the way things used to be. The way they used to exist and thrive. And that is simple, every single household had somebody or somebodies who were spiritually inclined. The ancestors are taking us back to the beautiful divine way. It is a spiritual revolution and that is why young and old are accepting the calling”, she said.

What many fail to realize is that accepting and embracing your calling doesn’t mean becoming a sangoma or traditional healer per se. Others don’t even have to go through ukuthwasa. They just need a mentor (for a lack of a better English word) to guide and support them. Much like a personal trainer to help you to reach those body goals, or a life coach to help you realize your full potential. And yes, we all need mentors for all areas of our lives and they don’t have to possess academic qualifications or fancy titles. If you are religiously inclined then consider your priest/pastor as your mentor.

Others accept, embrace and nurture their innate gifts in order to align with their ancestors, others to heal themselves and to become blessings unto others. These types of people seem to have an ability to heal by simply uttering positive words, think of someone who sends you a message which reads: “I am sending you positive energies”. Others pray for you, revelations are made and miracles happen. And no, not every gifted person will have beads around their wrists, ankles and neck. Some don’t walk around with cloths wrapped around their waists or shoulders. However, you will notice their presence when they walk into a room or when you walk past them. We refer to this as isthunzi. Think about that woman with an air of Grace, or that man who commands respect without saying a word.

My Humble Opinion: We are all gifted, albeit on different levels. A perfect example would be athletes, they have varying abilities and capabilities, some are genetically built like machines, to break records. Some are set above the rest simply because of their training methods and schedules. Similarly, the difference between myself and the other gifted person would be time and effort invested in nurturing and pursuing my calling. Many don’t know they are gifted because their enlightenment and curiosity was either rubbished, ridiculed, suppressed or blocked. Others don’t know they are gifted because they are scared what they will uncover, they think the discovery will be Pandora’s Box. Others are simply not interested. If you value and trust your gut and instinct then chances are you’d be more open to exploring your gift, given the right guidance and support of course.

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul” – Swami Vivekananda

Marriage Is Not An Achievement

“All of my children are married, now I can rest…My son, you are married now, you are a man amongst men…My daughter is married now, the community will no longer call her derogatory names”. We’ve all heard such speeches at weddings. A sad reality of societal pressures and unrealistic expectations from parents and guardians. I use the word pressures and unrealistic because fact is, not everyone views or considers marriage as a yardstick for success. Some, if not most people don’t deem matrimony as the be all and end all. Not everyone is interested in marriage and there is nothing strange, bizarre, peculiar or abnormal about that. The same applies to those who decide not to have children, this topic deserves its own blog. The pressures I speak of result in forced or rushed marriages, this leads to resentment and abuse because stress and frustration can push one to the edge. The high divorce rate is testament to this, the shocking and alarming gender-based statistics are testament to this.

Some parents even overlook your achievements. You can be a focused, driven and hard-working individual but until you get married and have children you aren’t complete. Notice I said children and not child, because apparently allegedly having more than one child proves you and your man (in particular) are fertile and it proves he is financially stable (patriarchal world). The more kids you have the more money you have, supposedly. This is obviously a license to procreate because money is the only thing a child needs (if sarcasm had an emoticon).

You fall pregnant as an unmarried woman and your child is considered illegitimate, you have failed and disappointed your parents, you have brought shame onto your family. This has to change. The most important thing should be your level of readiness as parents: emotionally/psychologically, physically and financially. Rings/tattoos and a marriage certificate are no guarantee of a well-rounded upbringing. All a child needs is food, clothing, unconditional love, protection/security, stability and a roof over their head.

You impregnate a woman and you are told to make a decent woman of her, thus insinuating that she will be deemed indecent and unworthy until marriage. This also overlooks and disregards the millions of loving and stable relationships that thrive in the absence of holy matrimony. I bet we know of lifelong couples, partners and soulmates who co-habit in bliss and harmony till death do them apart. The kind of relationships that are considered #CoupleGoals

My Humble Opinion: achievement is defined as: something accomplished, especially by superior ability, special effort and great courage. Therefore, it is safe to say that completing your studies is an achievement, securing that dream job is an achievement, starting a business is an achievement, purchasing a house is an achievement, performing a successful and life-saving surgery/operation is an achievement, convicting a paedophile is an achievement and succeeding in life, against all odds is an achievement.

Marriage should not and cannot be a yardstick for success. I really hope the narrative changes to: “My son/daughter is now a graduate, he/she will find a job, earn a decent salary and be independent…my heart is full of joy. My son/daughter is living an impactful and purposeful life… he/she is happy, healthy and successful, I am so proud and content”.

Featured

A thin line between ‘toughening’ up a child and brutally breaking their spirits.

Imagine a coach, manager and/or the assistant constantly being on a child’s case.

Imagine fellow teammates ridiculing, criticizing, teasing and constantly bullying a child.

Imagine the parents barking instructions on the sidelines.

Imagine other parents passing snide remarks: “how did this child get selected?”

Participation in sport has great potential to unearth and refine beyond the natural ability, natural flair, natural skill and talent. This is where we see the honing of crucial life skills and the makings of an all-rounder: after all, it takes more than talent and superstar qualities to be successful. I am referring to the hunger, dedication, determination, hard-work, self-discipline, effort, spirit, attitude, perseverance, persistence, willingness to learn, an ear to always listen and take instructions, and the skill to take the advice and guidance from those who have walked the path.

My Humble Opinion: I have seen well-intentioned coaches, managers, assistants, players and parents tear a child apart.To a point where that child gives up on their passions, dreams and aspirations.There is a thin line between ‘toughening’ up a child and brutally breaking their spirits and thwarting their emotional development, something they need in order to grow into well-adjusted adulthood. Consider a child’s age, level of maturity and emotional intelligence before you impart your version of ‘constructive criticism’. Children should be allowed to make mistakes without fear of judgement or reprisal. Children should be given the space to explore and discover. Our role as adults is to nurture, guide, protect and support. Ours is to boost morale and bring about morally sound and confident children.

“Don’t break a birds wings and tell it to fly. Don’t break a soul and tell it to be happy”